Picnic in the Park
by Geezworld234
Summary: The team head to Hyde Park to unwind in in the sun with a picnic after a hard day at work.


_**DISCLAIMER: NOT MINE!**_

_**In answer to Jen's challenge to write a fic including the following 5 items (1)Sunblock. (2) Alchopops (3) a very skimpy swim suit (4) a disgusting food stuff (5) Tan lines**_

_**Enjoy! :)**_

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"Finally, the moment I've been waiting for all day, the chance to eat, drink, be merry and enjoy the sun while it is still out" Sandra said heaving the old fashioned wicker picnic basket out of the boot of Jack's car.

"I know what you mean, I am glad it's clouded over a bit as I am not very good with the sun me" Brain said draping the picnic blanket over his arm.

"That's because you're from the North, it's grim up there" Gerry teased lighting a cigarette.

"Well being from France you would know all about tropical climes, Gerard" Jack said in an over the top French accent causing Sandra and Brain to laugh.

"How many times, I'm not bleedin' French!"

"Enough bickering children, I've found the perfect spot in front of that tree" Sandra said placing the picnic basket down, gesturing Brian should do the same with the rug before rubbing **sun block **on her exposed arms and shoulders.

"Ooh what have we here a nice bottle of sparkling wine, cheers Jack, sweets, cakes and crisps courtesy of Brian" She began placing them out on display for the rest of her team to see what they would be dining on this rather fine evening. "The chicken salad **I** made".

"Well how hard is it to throw a salad together, sorry Guv but you don't get any special effort prizes from me"

"Well Gerry, I did make the effort of going to Waitrose last night and what a fun experience that wasn't, as soon as I walked through the doors I got rammed in the knees by some child playing bumper cars with a trolley"

The boys all laughed, Sandra's ongoing war with supermarkets never ceased to be amusing.

"It isn't funny" she protested.

"Alright, that is a bigish effort, for you, I spent hours slaving over a hot stove for you lot last night, take this you may think it is a quick job making Mediterranean pasta, all you do is add your sun dried tomatoes and your red pesto, no **I** made the pasta fresh, from scratch". Gerry smirked.

"Well done you" Sandra remarked sarcastically.

"Look at that, isn't there laws about indecent exposure in public places" Jack said pointing at a girl not too far away from them in a **very** **skimpy Daisy Duke style bikini**.

"I'm not complaining, wow what a set she's got on her, I think you must be getting miserable in your old age Jack, she's not upsetting anyone, quite the opposite".

"Actually Gerry, I happen to agree with Jack, that kind of outfit, modeled by someone I can only politely describe as a male attention seeker is the very reason you men have created these degrading women stereotypes. I bet she's the kind of girl who wonders why men discriminate against her" Sandra said very aggressively pulling the cork out of the wine bottle.

"Owch, do you mind you almost took my eye out with that cork" Gerry said rubbing his eye.

"I was always under the impression that girls wore outfits like that so they wouldn't get tan lines like yours, Gerry" Brian said helping himself to his fourth sausage roll.

"I don't know what you mean, I don't have tan lines"

"Yes, you do sir" Two girls in bright red and orange shirts appeared. "That whole white patch on your ankle where your socks have been is a **tan line**" The first girl said.

"And as for that one where your watch has been, I'd stick some tinted moisturizer on that if I were you, sir" the second girl said.

"Who the hell are you?" Gerry asked not all that politely.

"I'm Karen"

"And I'm Julia, we are from Alchotastic Pop Limited, and today we are going round Hyde Park giving out free samples of our new guava and passion fruit **alchopop **care to try?"

"Oh, yes please" Sandra said taking the small plastic cup from the girl who introduced herself as Karen. "Mmm, that's delicious, thank you" she smiled.

"Would you like to try, gentlemen?"

"No thanks, I don't drink" Brain replied.

"Not for me thanks, I don't do overly sweet drinks" Jack said declining the offer.

"Go on I will" Gerry said. "Not bad, I still prefer a glass of scotch.

The girls laughed "Thanks guys" they said heading off to attract the attention of more people out enjoying the rarity of the sun.

"Are they even allowed to do that?" Brian inquired.

"I guess so" Sandra said rolling over onto her stomach and picking at the bunch of grapes Jack had brought along.

"Yuck, Gerry what the hell is in these sandwiches, it tastes disgusting?" Jack yelled not knowing how to discard the bite of sandwich he had taken.

"There is nothing disgusting about tuna, prawn, fish paste and tartar sauce sandwiches"

"Gerry there is everything wrong with it, **sea food sandwiches are disgusting**" Sandra exclaimed, screwing her face up in disgust at the very thought of sampling such cuisine.

"Honestly you lot know nothing about food, you agree with me don't you Brain?"

"Actually, no I don't really Gerry , Esther and I went over to Mark's a few weeks ago and I got food poisoning from prawns, I've been off sea food ever since" he explained.

"Oh, ah well more for me".

"Brain did you remember to bring those badminton racquets, I was just thinking that arched tree branch could act as a net?" Sandra asked.

"I did Guv, got them in my rucksack" he smiled.

"Brilliant, let's play after dinner".

"Only if I can be on your team Guv" Gerry said though a bite of his controversial sandwich.

"Works for me, last time we played in the Met's car park and Gerry was on my team he cheated" Jack said sipping the wine out of the blue plastic tumbler.

"I do not cheat" he protested.

"Yes, you do Gerry" Brian added to the disagreement.

"Listen, can't we just rally the shuttle no rules, this evening was supposed to be a bit of fun, remember" Sandra said regaining control of the situation.

"Works for me" Gerry said.

"Good, now get back to your sandwiches if you are on my team Gerald you are going to need all the strength you can get" she winked.

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_**The End! Hope it was alright, reviews are very welcome! Gee :) x**_


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